Have you ever tried to change something about someone else?
Of course, you have.
We ALL have!
The point is we can't motivate anyone else. Like us, they show up for what they believe in. And like us, they always find time for what's important to them.
We can engage, inspire, and support. In short, we can show up for them in an authentic way because we care about them. We don't have to be better or smarter, we just have to courageously care about them.
Connect first with your intention. If it's to prove you're right about something it'll probably add difficulty to the relationship. If it's because you care about them being the best version of themselves it'll likely help improve the relationship.
One of the most cherished qualities of a great boss, supervisor, or leader is they listen. They listen actively with empathy. Remember, listen and silent use the same letters. This quality, this ability is in all of us. To develop it we must listen as intently as we desire to speak. A keynote listener shows up to learn instead of waiting to speak.
Our actions provide evidence of our authentic intentions. When our saying and doing are aligned we're showing up in line with the person we want to be. This example helps make it safe for the other person to be vulnerable to show up authentically for themselves. In this way, both people are motivated to become who they want to become.
We all need help. We need help in learning how to be human. We do this with other humans. Every day provides many opportunities to hone the human skills we need to be successful. We need others to be successful for us to be successful. Embracing our shared humanity moves us closer to the person we want to become and gives space for others to do the same.