In some leadership sessions recently we asked the participants what they were experiencing that might be holding back their teams. Without much hesitation, they said there was something keeping them stuck. Keeping them from collaborating the way they hoped. It's probably not what you expect. They said it was not asking for help.
Seriously? Yes!
This one thing reveals a number of things that work against effective collaboration. Here are two...
- Fear exists
- Poor psychological safety
Fear is driving the silence they're experiencing. We often view silence as agreement and think everything is going well even though it's not.
When psychological safety is at risk people don't feel safe enough to express themselves at critical times. Vulnerability is out of the question and prevents behaving in ways that support a trustworthy environment.
Other Clues
Overall work quality can also suffer as a result of not feeling like you're able to ask for help when you need it. We can also feel that if we asked nobody would be willing to help us. This leaves us isolated with our task list.
When we don't ask for help it can also lead to unhealthy procrastination. These delays mean incomplete work and getting behind the expected schedule.
Feeling isolated increases stress. Not asking for help leaves us suffering in silence. This isn't only bad for the employees experiencing this but also affects other team members negatively.
Action Items
- Appreciation
- Saying "I don't know"
Connecting with each other reminds us that we're human beings, not human "doings". Try starting time together with recognition of the help people have given. This supports the notion that we can't go it alone and need others to be effective ourselves. This also sheds light on what others are great at making it more efficient when we need help. Showing our appreciation for the help we've received encourages collaboration.
Each of us can know quite a lot but none of us can know everything. Displaying humility to team members can go a long way to creating a more safe atmosphere. Saying "I don't know" helps model the behavior you desire.
Each of us can develop self-awareness when we're not feeling safe to speak up. When we don't feel safe there's a surge indicating our fight/flight/freeze response has kicked in. When this happens we must learn how to counteract this to calm down. Then we can speak up respectfully and honestly about the situation. It could sound like this...
"When we started today you said you wanted us to speak up. I've noticed people are not speaking up like they were before. I'm wondering if this is what you want?"
We need everyone's engagement and perspective to grow together as a team, make decisions, and achieve alignment. Everybody matters. We all deserve to be heard and valued. Your leadership in these situations can make all the difference between unhealthy silence and effective collaboration!
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