Do you want to become a more effective leader, or teacher, or team member? Or how about becoming a better family member?
I teach a short segment on EQ in my grad classes here at Ohio State… and if you know Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence construct… you understand that when we know ourselves better (recognizing our own emotions), we can use that knowledge to guide our thinking and behavior. That’s powerful stuff.
But how do you improve your emotional intelligence? One way is to learn a new language. I’m not talking about a communication method specific to a geographic region… but a different kind of language that can help you communicate and improve relationships at a deeper level.
Some of you have guessed it. I’m talking about Dr. Gary Chapman’s “5 Languages of Appreciation” or more commonly known as “The 5 Love Languages.”
Love languages? Stick with me here! The research shows that people have an emotional communication preference. (Think EQ.) So it makes sense to apply that in our communication interactions every day. Right? Originally developed for couples, marriage counseling, and etc., the 5 Love Languages are truly applicable far beyond those confinements. Hence, Chapman renamed a version of them as the 5 Languages of Appreciation (for workplace application).
Whether at work or home, Chapman says there are basically five main styles that people prefer (which subconsciously enhance their reception of communicated messages):
- Words of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Gifts
In other words… Some people hear you better when you use affirming words. Others hear you when you do acts of service, or spend some time with them. For example, who do you know that prefers time with you vs. a note (words) of thanks? Everyone has these communication (language) preferences, and they vary. Understanding this is central to good leadership communication… and it can make your work and home life better as well.
In the workplace, understanding what language others speak can help you better supervise, teach, mentor, care for, work with, and serve them. By communicating in the method others prefer to hear… we can experience improved connections that are profound.
But how do you find out what language people prefer? Yes. There’s a quiz. It takes only a few minutes. And it’s free here: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes
Homework Challenge: Are you willing to take the quiz? Might you share it with your team or family?
Bonus challenge: Think about whether you can learn a person’s language of appreciation by observing them. Here’s a hint: What how they communicate with others. That’s a huge clue as to what they subsequently wish to receive.
Note: Dr. Chapman approaches the “5 Love Languages” from a Christian faith-based worldview; however, the results are not couched in religious dogma; and I believe the concept is applicable to anyone from any culture, faith, or non-faith tradition. For additional reading: Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Languages of Appreciation - https://www.appreciationatwork.com/
Additional Resources: Dr. Brian Raison (raison.1@osu.edu) serves as a Professor and Extension Specialist at The Ohio State University. He has extracted these tools over the past dozen years from his formal classes and Extension programs. Free downloads and videos (and about 25 free e-book codes) are available online: http://encouragingmentor.com
Comments (0)