When you feel the surge, resist the urge.
There are times in our lives when we feel threatened. Some are real. Some aren't. Our bodies process these situations exactly the same. When threats aren't real often we let our fight/flight response take over. In these moments we react as if in real danger. The actual danger here is not having the self-awareness to realize the "threat" is perceived and be able to calm ourselves down. If we succumb to the survival hormones flooding our bodies we often act our worst. So it's our ability to recognize when this is happening, when the surge is on, and calm ourselves down to behave in line with who we want to be that really matters. The inability to do this is where many of our blindspots live. And blindspots are where our biggest growth areas live.
Of course, if there is a real threat then you want to fully embrace the fight or flight response and survive!
Honesty without tact is cruelty.
Had a boss who used to call me to their office and say "You're not going to like this conversation." Of course, it wasn't a conversation, it was all one way. Needless to say, this was not effective. This actually causes trauma in others. Words have power. They have the power to create emotions to which we then attach feelings and meaning. We can use them in the direction of truth and love or to prove we're "right" or spread gossip. It's important to ask ourselves what we really want to get in touch with our intention. Then and only then can we frame the communication properly.
We also know to grow we have to get feedback. Feedback is the breakfast of champions. It's necessary. If we don't feel the feedback is coming from a place of caring we often ignore it. When it comes from someone who we know cares about us becoming a better version of ourselves it's easier to accept and integrate into our lives. Our honesty must be accompanied by being respectful to minimize trauma along with our understanding that...
"All people are different people." -Ted Lasso
Humans share 99.9% of the same DNA, it's the .01% that makes us unique individuals. Embracing the special talents, gifts, and passions of our team members helps us blend them together. It helps us see one another as success partners instead of people to be in competition with. It's our differences that create the magic in teamwork. The magic of learning from each other is how we can become truly ourselves.
The whole world is a schoolhouse and our only job is to learn in the greatest leadership learning lab during our lives. Keep learning and leading, the world needs you!